so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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