I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
