I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
