i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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