would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I smell stomach acid.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
