At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize