So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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