I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
