you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
