Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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