Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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