i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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