Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
