I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
