sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
