Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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