i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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