They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
