Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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