hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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