smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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