My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize