You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
