yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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