So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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