just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
