Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
