he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize