That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
