My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
This beer is not sobering me up at all
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
