Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
