You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
