I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
