just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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