the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
