scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
