Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
