plz talk dirty to me
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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