i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Mom said you looked used
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
