dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
