I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
