listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
