i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Randomize