I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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