It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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