using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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