omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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