ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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