So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
