my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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