All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
