Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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