Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
