I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize