I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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