What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
