The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
This can only be settled by a dance off.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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