I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
